Memoirs
by Faith Lacking
Summary: Memories are what cause us pain; having bad or tragic memories. But what about those who don't have anything to remember? How does Goku feel when he starts recieving memories? Rated R to be on the safe side.


One has to wonder sometimes if living without memories is good or a bad thing.

-

A day fighting for your life would not deem itself to be a normal day for most. Attacked by the devil's son and his group, and having a young demon girl sit on your head was out of the ordinary.

But that was the way things were with Sanzo's group.

Lucky for them, the event didn't cause any major lacerations or broken limbs. A convenient avalanche from nearby startled Kougaiji enough for him to call his group back. He wasn't willing to lose a valued member of his team, especially since his young sister was there.

Sanzo, on the other hand, was hoping they'd all disappear in a blanket of white snow. Unfortunately for him, that wish would never come true.

"Sanzo, I'm _seriously_ starving here!" came the whiny voice of the adolescent. The voice annoyed Sanzo to no end. No one had any idea how the blonde managed to move so quickly through the snow, but he trudged over and kicked the boy in the face.

Hakkai just smiled, unaffected by Sanzo's brashness. "Perhaps we should find a place to lodge before a snow storm comes in." The brunette suggested.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Gojyo muttered, sneezing loudly. "It's colder than Sanzo on a first date out here!"

Sanzo cocked his gun. "Care to speak a little louder? I'll gladly end your misery."

Gojyo decided the best thing to do was whistle and walk away. Hakkai just chuckled before rubbing under his pet dragon's chin. "Hakuryuu is too cold to become a jeep, and even if he could he can't drive in this snow."

The white dragon gave a chirp of agreement.

Gojyo sulked. "You mean we have to walk?"

Goku just smirked. "What's wrong with that? You don't wanna get fat like Sanzo, do ya?" The teen teased, quickly running behind Hakkai for safety.

"You all want to die don't you?" Sanzo seethed, but started to trudge through the snow after them. "Bunch of useless bastards."

Hakkai knew quite well they passed up a village, but it was miles back and there were no lodges or inns nearby. They might have to camp out in a cave. _Then we'll have to put up with Gojyo and Goku's complaining… _the man thought to himself, but kept quiet.

_If we have to stay in a cave I will seriously kill them all _Sanzo thought bitterly to himself. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued on.

Goku peered around, looking for anything that looked like a shelter. He paused, before narrowing his eyes a bit and tugging on Gojyo's sleeve.

The red head raised an eyebrow. "What is it _saru_?"

Goku looked very serious, almost determined. "Gojyo…" He let go of his sleeve, and by now Gojyo was thinking maybe the boy had seen a demon. "……………………………" Suddenly the boy broke off into a run.

"Goku! What the hell?"

"I smell FOOD." The boy practically squealed, dashing off to find where the scent of food was coming from.

"…One track mind…" Gojyo started to say, before following after him.

"Ah, food might mean shelter." Hakkai said in an optimistic tone, as he went in pursuit as well.

Sanzo made an irritated sound, trudging after them. "Or a trap."

It didn't take Goku very long to find a house, and he could definitely smell food inside. Gojyo came up right behind him, knocking the boy upside the head. "You IDIOT. Don't just run off!"

"Ow! But I smelled food and I'm really REALLY hungry."

"Is that your brain talking or your stomach?" The man snorted, before moving forward and knocking loudly on the door. "Hey! Anyone in there?"

Hakkai walked up next the man, sighing a bit. "Gojyo we must work on your manners."

"You actually expect someone to open up after something like that?" Sanzo sneered.

"Well if it's a beautiful woman, I'm certain she'll open the door." Gojyo merely replied, smirking a bit.

"…you really thin-" Sanzo was cut off as the door started to clatter and squeak as it opened. Gojyo looked smug, but was unhappy to see an older man open the door cautiously.

"Well dam-"

"Hello, kind sir." Hakkai interrupted cheerfully. "My friends and I-"

"Not friends." Sanzo muttered.

"Are quite a bit aways from the nearest town, and we were hoping we could stay her-"

"And eat!" Goku piped up.

Hakkai almost found himself twitching.

The man seemed uneasy, as he looked at the three men. "I…suppose." He slowly opened the door, letting the group into his house. "Just for the night I guess…"

Despite the house looked shabby on the outside, inside it was rather spacious and cozy, quite warm. The group began to warm up as the entered, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for your hospitality." Hakkai said politely. "May I ask what your name is?"

The man gave a bit of a nod. "Tak."

Gojyo found himself noseying around the house, noting that there were pictures of a woman and a young girl. Pictures of the older woman were scattered everywhere, there were so many you could barely see the counter. "So…who's the pretty woman?" Gojyo was actually a bit nervous by the man's obvious obsession with the woman.

Tak looked up, gazing at the images. "That was my lovely wife…" He said in a wistful tone. "And the young girl is Keila. My daughter."

"Oh…you lost your lover? My condolences." Hakkai replied with sympathy. "And how is your daught-"

"She is sick."

"Would you like me to take a look at her? I'm fairly good with-"

"No thank you. No one can see her. She just needs rest."

"Whoooa…creepy guy." Gojyo muttered.

"You're telling me." The teen replied. Goku shook his head, before waving his hand wildly. "Hey mister! Mister mister! I'm seriously dying of starvation!"

"You ate two hours ago…"

"Shut up Gojyo. Do you have anything to eat? I smelled food!"

While Goku was whining and fighting with Gojyo, Sanzo examined the house, noting all the pictures and the fact the house was kept meticulously clean. Tak took Goku and Gojyo to the kitchen, as Hakkai spoke with Sanzo. "Kind of troubling isn't it?"

"I can't imagine anyone getting this obsessive over a dead person." Sanzo muttered irritably.

Hakkai felt himself twitch this time. "So says the one who broods during rain." Sanzo shot him a glare, looking murderously at his companion. "Sorry, that was rude of me." The brunette apologized, raising his hands. "I wish he'd let me look at his daughter."

"We're not a charity, Hakkai." Sanzo moved off, looking for a room to rest in.

After a small meal of bland soup, Goku find himself very bored and wanting something to do. Sanzo and the others were supposedly playing poker or some card game Goku didn't know, and Gojyo told the boy only people taller than 170 centimeters could come in the room.

He was horribly bored, and found himself not liking the silence. It was dark outside, probably very late. Goku grabbed his pillow and headed towards the room. He'd force himself in, no one could stop him. He started to get his hand around the knob, before he heard voices inside.

"Heh, no wonder you shot a dirty look at Sanzo, Hakkai."

"Shut up, Gojyo." Sanzo muttered. "How the hell was I supposed to remember something like that?"

"He's right." Hakkai murmured. "We all have our own issues. We can't be responsible for each other's memories."

Gojyo chortled a bit, but it sounded weak. "The _saru's_ lucky. He's got nothing to worry about."

_Lucky?_

"It's true…he does have it a bit easy."

_Easy?_

Sanzo kept silent, smoking on his cigarette as he reminisced.

"He doesn't have a heavy burden like we do, but we should be grateful for that. He shouldn't have to suffer like the rest of us."

_I don't have a heavy burden? _ Goku found himself getting angered by the conversation, his fists shaking. _How's about having NO memories? A blank slate! Nothing at all! _ Trembling a bit with rage, he didn't realize someone was behind him. A hand touched his, causing the boy to reel back a bit.

"Dah!" The teen almost fell back, stumbling before catching himself. He blinked, seeing the young girl from the photo. "Hey…you're Keila. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

The small girl tilted her head, before smiling. "I was bored." Her voice squeaked. "Can we got to yer room and play?"

Goku was a bit unsure, since technically she should have been sleeping, but he nodded. _She looks fine! She's not sick._ "Sure, let's go to my room then." He took her cold little hand and went to his room.

-

After a few hours of playing with the girl, loosing to rock-paper-scissors, and generally having a good time, the two decided just to talk a bit.

"I had lotsa fun with ya, Goku! Yer not boring like daddy!"

"Well that's because adults are boring." He scrunched up his nose.

"Yeah…" Keila replied, hugging her knees. "Grown up are always 'You can't have this' or 'Ya can't have that.'. It's not fair…"

Goku felt a bit of a twinge in his chest, before looking down. "Yeah…"

Keila smiled a bit. "Sometimes I see mommy…and when I ask for something she gives it to me…"

"…But your mom is dead…"

"Mommy is with me forever…"

Goku shook his head. "Anything you say…"

There was silence for awhile, as Keila began braiding her hair. She finally spoke when she finished. "Goku? Is there anything you want?"

The boy looked at her, thinking for a moment, then abandoning thought and just blurting out 'memories'.

"Memories? Did you hit your head and forget everything?"

Goku looked down at his hands, seeming confused. "I don't know. Maybe I did. I don't remember. I stayed in a cave for longer than I can remember. I saw lots of things up there…then Sanzo saved me." He chuckled a bit. "I guess I should be grateful."

Keila blinked, before staring at him. "Is that somethin' ya really want mister Goku?"

"I … I guess…" He sounded a bit uneasy at this point, the girl was making him nervous.

"I'll talk to mommy about it!" She squeaked, a bright smile on her face. "I'll tell her to get you some memories! You'll remember lots of stuff!"

Goku just nodded to appease the girl. "Whatever you want. Maybe you should sleep."

Keila jumped off the bed, grinning at the boy. "Mommy will help you, Goku! Nobody likes to be forgotten!" She bounced off the bed, waving. "See you around!"

Goku seemed more confused than ever, as it started to get cold. He curled up in his blankets, as a snowstorm raged outside. _Man…she was creepy…_

-_  
_

The group sat around at the breakfast table, eating the same bland soup again. Sanzo was feeling stiff and irritable because of the cold weather. Gojyo was still uneasy with the man's obsession. Hakkai was tending to Hakuryuu and wondering about Tak's daughter.

"Your young friend sure is sleeping in late isn't he?" Tak remarked.

"He's a lazy monkey. What do you expect?" Sanzo muttered, drinking some lukewarm coffee.

Hakkai stood up; pushing his seat in. "I'll go see if he wants something to eat." He walked over to Goku's room, knocked on the door, and opened it. He found Goku curled up under the sheets, making soft sleeping noises. Hakkai put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him a bit and trying to wake him up. "Goku, it's time to wake up."

Goku groaned, before opening his eyes blearily. The groggy teen looked up, rubbing his eyes. "Hakkai…?"

"You'll miss your breakfast, Goku. Come on now." The man smiled, as Hakuryuu chirped. Goku yawned and got out of bed, following the man.

"Mmm…still tired." He groaned, trudging behind him.

Gojyo looked up, seeing the boy. "About time you got up brat."

"Shuddup." Goku muttered, sitting at the table and eating his soup. "Tired…"

Sanzo rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee one last time before putting the mug down. "It doesn't matter anyway, we can't leave anyway."

"What? Why the hell not?" Gojyo asked loudly, twitching a bit. "I need to get out there and find me some women!"

"One, we're snowed in. Two, any woman you find will be a whore popsicle. Dumbass."

Goku's eyes widen a bit at the word 'snowed in'. "Wait…" He suddenly stood up, knocking his chair over. "What do you mean snowed in…?"

Gojyo raised his eyebrow. "There was a snowstorm last night, brat."

The teen quickly ran towards the door, trying to get it open. "No way! It can't be!"

Hakkai seemed confused, as he followed the boy. "Goku, what's wrong?"

"There was a dog outside! It'll die if we leave it in the snow!"

"There was no dog outside…"

"Yes there was! I saw it! It was cold and shaking! I bet it was hungry too!"

Hakkai quickly grabbed Goku's shoulders, shaking him a bit. "Relax. There wasn't a dog. You must have been seeing things."

"No!" Goku shouted, pulling away. "I saw it! I played with it for a bit then we kept walking!"

"Goku. If there was a dog, it'd be too late now to save it anyway."

There was a few moments of quiet, as golden as stared in confusion into Hakkai's. Goku shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "I…sorry." He seemed more befuddled than his companions. "My head kinda hurts…"

"Maybe you should lay down, Goku."

"Yeah…" Goku hobbled a bit, going towards his room and closing to door.

The others just glanced at each other, feeling uneasy. "What was that about?" Gojyo asked.

"He's probably just a bit stressed in this weather. Let's give him some rest. We can't leave anyway." Hakkai looked to Tak. "If that's okay with you of course."

Tak seemed to be in deep thought, before looking up quickly. "O…Oh! Yes. I don't mind."

Sanzo just scoffed. "Whatever. I'll be in my room. Don't bother me."

-

_That's all for now, too tired to make this a one shot. No beta or anything. Please excuse errors. Will do my best. Hating the new _


End file.
